Monthly Archives: August 2014

Ranting and Raving as Requested

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We all did it. Ok maybe not all of us…but a lot of us. Going to the beach for a long weekend or week with our friends is almost like a right of passage for young people. Maybe just maybe a party or two or three or more will pop up. I get that too. Never did it myself at the beach, but I certainly had my share of partying days and nights during and after high school.

So when we decided to move to the beach as year round residents, did we think of this aspect of beach life? Not for a second. All we could think was how cheap our new home was, and how cool it was to have our own place to decorate and make our own. Our kids would start school the following fall and we were starting to feel like genuine grown ups.

It was absolute bliss. Coming down almost every weekend to work on our new home, explore the area all fall and winter to get familiar with our new hometown. Those were great times…trying new restaurants, going back and forth to Home Depot, visiting my sister and her family who settled in down here a few years before us.

All so sweet and happy and cute…that is until summer. We couldn’t wait for our first summer as beach residents…walking to the beach and boardwalk, warm summer nights hanging in our backyard having countless barbeques with family and friends…

It didn’t take long to realize we landed smack dab in the middle of a party zone (thank you real estate agent for letting us know this)…of non stop parties, brawls at two a.m. in the street, public urinating, trashing of lawns and flower gardens, and my absolute favorite…parking wars.

 

Which brings us to my first rant on my blog.  It burns my belly. Keeps me up at night along with the blasting music, screaming and yelling from simultaneous parties or just one. We have a driveway…that will fit maybe a Yugo.  We can squeeze our Jeep or Suburban in it if we ABSOLUTELY have to, but at a cost.  Be prepared to climb out of a window or suck it in to waif-like proportions to get OUT of the car…without scratching or denting a door.  We have had to do it. I may just have to do it tonight. After my second trip out to drop off/pick up kids. And then again later tonight to pick my daughter up from work to come home to yet another late tonight of  parties  just getting started.

 

There are about a dozen cars parked out front. They haven’t moved. Since Sunday. They are over my yellow line just enough that if I hit them tonight with my massive Suburban, it will not be my problem. I have asked nicely over the past thirteen years to please rotate the cars out. PLEASE oh please MOVE your car. Please GOD DAMN IT move the frigging cars!!! I have four kids, not that any of them (party people) would care or notice. I am constantly in and out all day, every day. We play the parking game just as they do…but they trump us every stinking time(insert expletives)…because they just park their cars…and walk away…for days and days.

 

Try coming homing home from picking up your child at work or a friend’s house, and  the hubster is away, and having to walk  around the block with a sleeping child. Did that last night…it ain’t fun.

 

So here is the solution. After many, many years here, and giving this town countless years to clean up its act, after losing everything in a fire, and rebuilding a dream home with our friends’ and families’ and neighbors’ help, with years of calling police to break up fights on my front porch or in the street, and my waking babies at three a.m. because of girls screaming at their loser boyfriends for talking to “that” girl at the party, after drug busts, and snipers on roof tops, and floods and hurricanes…it is time for us to move along.

 

But that won’t happen for a while.  My husband is hard at work building a future for us, so we can move on and not worry if it is going to be another situation like this. WE will have choice…but sadly, not yet.

 

So in order to get some GOOD KARMA out of this, I bit my tongue as I struggled to walk by party house number one just now ( a half a dozen drunken teenagers sitting on the porch alternating between rap and country music-who does that??!)and decided to vent on here instead.  And now I BEG my readers this one simple request.

 

If you have a son or daughter, or a niece or nephew, of friend’s kid heading this way before the end of summer, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ask them to carpool. In this day and age of high gas prices, why in the world are teens from Philadelphia, New York, Quebec, or Delaware coming in their own cars…so they can drink and drive? I sure as heck hope not! Guess that is the only small blessing in this. No they just park them and sit. Carpool to the beach…what a brilliant idea! Save money on gas!! Another brilliant idea! Keep their messes to themselves and be mindful that this OUR home, and we wouldn’t go their neighborhood and park a car in front of their driveway for a week, or throw trash on their mother’s garden…end of rant.

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Monday is Fun Day

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Monday is Fun Day

Feeling pretty lazy right now. Still in pj’s. But thankfully I have accomplished a lot since 6:30am when my two year old started hitting me to wake up.  Some days I wish I was getting up to go to work.  I truly loved working. Not to say I don’t enjoy being a mother. I take that job very seriously…sometimes maybe a little too seriously. Ask my kids.  But if I worked at a job, maybe they wouldn’t think I am too intense or in their face so much. But the messes and whining would still exist…so not sure if there is a happy medium in the stay-at-home/go-to-work category of life. I struggled to work for years around my husband’s insane and never the same travel schedule, but the stress was too overwhelming on all of us most of the time.

Not to overshare, but about once a month I start thinking…too much. Maybe that is where the idea of blogging came to fruition. We as a family have had a lot of up’s and down’s in the past few months. Mainly just emotional, but also life changing.

 So when I am feeling EXTRA emotional, I guess that is what keeps me up at night thinking.  My oldest is finally yet slowly figuring out that adulthood is just around the corner…more specifically in less than five months.  And maturity and more decisions than she has ever had to make other than what to wear and whether to treat herself to sushi or pizza…we are talking BIG STUFF…work, college, driving, dating, friends…we have had a few meltdowns, breakups, and growing out of friends…

All part of life. She is absorbing this a little. She has definitely been attempting to get us to view her as a more mature young lady than just a kid.  She takes her jobs very seriously this summer, and saving/spending all the money she has earned. She begged me the other night to start seeing her as more of an independent than as another child to cart around to outings or dinners.  I begged her to understand that we get it, but need time to adjust. That we will give her a little more space and privacy, but that she will always be our firstborn. Our baby girl.

Not sure how I will handle this upcoming year (praying graduation doesn’t fall on one of my more “emotional weeks”…but we will survive. We have survived more heartbreaking days and will again.

So now that the sun has decided to return, I declare this as Monday Fun Day! I will not dwell on these long sleepless nights or emotional talks with my daughter and husband. I will get out of my pj’s and soak up the sun and hopefully create more happy memories with our firstborn and three other children…my karma meter will hopefully read “good” all day!

Frazzled…

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So day two of a rainy weekend…I am feeling a bad karma kind of day coming on.  Two days of being in the house…those scattered toys yesterday are now feeling knee deep.  I am overwhelmed with cooking and cleaning, and whining and messes…I know there are people out there with more pressing issues-loss or illness or a broken heart. I try to keep reminding me of those things as I vent quietly to my husband or out loud when I feel I cannot handle much more…

It is all relative, I guess. The messes can be cleaned. The meals can simply be put away and order take out. The whining can be dealt with…as long as I remember to breathe…just breathe as every book/therapist/women’s magazine that I have read says when searching for that inner calm…

My one wish that I will hold onto forever is looking for peace within myself…that messes and bickering are not important. To be more like my husband who strives to live every day to its fullest…who believes that the messes CAN be dealt with on another day…his weekends are for getting away from the stresses of work and building a business. MY weekends are for getting all those projects completed that he cannot help me with during the week…so the balance on the weekends is always a struggle…fun vs. responsibility. I want to have fun too but find on Monday morning the burden of many house projects still unfinished and/or argued about till I cave and go to the beach. I love the beach too, but in its simplicity. Not hundreds of pounds of boards and toys and gear dragged down for hours of playtime…I long for a chair and a book and a cocktail and sand on my toes…

My venting today is based on being frazzled…nothing major…definitely a minor point in life. Frazzled is defined as such…

fraz·zle
ˈfrazəl/
informal
verb
adjective: frazzled; past participle: frazzled; past tense: frazzled
  1. cause to feel completely exhausted; wear out.
    “a frazzled parent”
    Yep. That’s me today. Another rainy day. But I am determined to find the good karma in my day, so I with that, I will attempt to unfrazzle myself and find balance. A little fun AND some work to do around the house.

Rainy Saturdays

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Nothing is more soothing than hearing the rain at night while lying in bed…well except when it is 3 in the morning and sleep seems impossible.  That is about the time when I realized that maybe I should start writing a blog…as my mind was racing with all sorts of topics…why I am wide awake for the third night in a row, family drama, friend drama, all the projects that we have to finish around the house… It was an endless list. By the time I finally dozed off, I think my mother-in-law was awake brewing her coffee and checking her email.  She is forever an early riser (before even the roosters rise)…I am sure it makes for a long yet productive day…that is, until about seven p.m. and eyelids start drooping and your bed is calling your name.

So I have been awake with my little ones and husband on this rainy Saturday for hours now.  What to do at the beach with thousands of other people looking to entertain themselves and family?  Not sure yet, since I am looking around at breakfast that needs to be cleaned up from earlier (and then starting lunch) and toys scattered everywhere.  Hopefully this rainy Saturday lends itself to being a “good karma” kind of day and we can balance productivity with a little fun thrown in…only the hours ahead will tell.