Anxiety.

Standard
Anxiety.

Do I already have a blog titled this?

I feel like I may…

Or maybe it is because it is a running theme in my life.  Regardless, I am riddled with it this morning.

Anxiety.

I am packing up for five days to go on trip with my husband…alone…without our five kids.

Venting quickly through my blog before my mad dash to get the kiddies off to school, finish my lists, charts, and graphs laid out for my mother and sister and the kids.

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Crossing off every little thing on my lists, and maybe do it again.

Then I stop and wonder how jet-setters like celebrities fly…

Constantly?!

Leaving their families and children behind to bop around the globe daily, like I do around town to the grocery store and dropping kids off at practice or games in my suburban…

I am in awe…I would need large doses of my chill pills on a daily basis to make it anywhere out of state.

I love to travel.

Yet hate flying.

I had no fear as a teenager about traveling. I flew to Austria ALONE when I was seventeen…not even a travel buddy or group tour…I did it. No anxiety. No fear. No nothing.

But for some reason, that thought of that girl I was back then now gives me anxiety as well.

I am a wreck…flying south for five days for some much needed rest and relaxation (and apparently in need of some mental diffusing) but also have a work event to distract me…I do need to go…

I probably have a large ulcer with all this anxiety.

I am a worry wart. I hate this about me, because I truly do know how to have fun.

I will let it go when I get home safely next week and kiss my babies and everyone is happy, healthy and safe…

Don’t know if my husband would appreciate my last comment…I need to let it go…now for him…for us…for me.

We have so much going on right now on the home front, I feel guilt leaving, and anxious to get back…

But all parties agree (I may be seeing their point as I write this), that we need this getaway…badly.  Life has been full lately…lots of good stuff, and then some pretty bad stuff as well…

But there is nothing I can do to make all of it go away.

Except maybe cry…get it out…finish packing…and let it go…

This is dedicated to the army of family we have recruited to help us take this trip…and to those who would help if they could…

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2 responses »

  1. Pingback: Anxiety. | ugiridharaprasad

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