Messes.

UPDATE: Even almost two years later, I am STILL feeling this way…and life just got even crazier around here! Which is NOT helping in the mess department…oh well. I will get to it someday.

 

I am THAT Mom. I hate messes. I despise them actually. Toys, piles of papers, shoes, laundry, overflowing trash bins…it drives me almost mad…not there just yet…but VERY close.

My house is ALWAYS a mess, it seems.  I don’t think it bothers me so much because of what others may think, I think it is just truly and honestly ME…I get this fire in my belly about it.  Sometimes it unleashes itself to my husband and children, or sometimes I just run around the house mumbling under my breath about “how many stinking times will I pick up this toy” or shoe or sweatshirt…the list of objects is endless.

I grew up in a house with three sisters and a mother and stepfather. Our house was only clean on the weekends and “pre-party” as my sister calls it.  We kids did a majority of the cleaning, (which is ok since I want my kids to also learn how to keep their things neat and organized and clean…but I am still working on that), and huffing and puffing that we hated Saturdays and chore lists and could care less about folding clothes, weeding gardens and washing pots and pans.

Our kids/mess makers sound a lot like me and my sisters did. They are 17, almost 15(tomorrow, but who’s counting!), seven and two…so the array of chores/capabilities is vast and the assortment of things they leave behind in my little home is UNREAL.

How can someone be asked to put their shoes away that are laying in the MIDDLE of the floor, and only grab ONE?!

Or to clean the mountain of clothes strewn across the floor in the teenagers’ room, only to find the clothes shoved in the closet or overflowing drawers…

Or ” Hey, could load the dishwasher for me while I am making dinner?” thanks beautiful offspring of mine who is fully capable and intelligent enough to know that means EVERYTHING in the sink…and then WIPE and RINSE out the sink…task complete…no such luck. Remnants of food and God only knows what else still lay in the sink and all over the counter and floor around the dish loading area.

NOT my actual kitchen, but how I am feeling when the kids clean the kitchen…

 

I am stalling right now, writing yet another post about something that may bring me bad karma for thinking/writing it, that these little and big messes are all around my feet, irritating me to no end…My Little Ponies under my desk, on my desk, under my chair. Puzzle pieces, cars, and more DVD’s than I can count are all over our family room, thanks to my two year old who thinks DVD’s are toys. I am avoiding the inevitable as my son naps…time for a “blitz” as I like to call it…tidy everything up just so I can sit back (did I just type the word sit?!) and look around at my cute little home and feel pride…

Not happening…

My kids- as much as I love them- irk me. They are not learning from me…the tireless job of mothering, or as they like to call it, nagging.  My job is to TEACH them life skills and nurture and love them (they are all getting a D this marking period from me).They tell me to make chore charts, (so I don’t need to nag) write it down, leave notes on their door…yeah right. I still have to nag about where the chore list went, or sticky note that said exactly what I needed done…commence nagging. I would do it all for them, really. I don’t mind cleaning, but it is the repetition of doing the SAME chores every single day, that are driving me batty.  So sharing the “wealth” helps keep me sane and is supposed to teach them some responsibility…supposedly…

So with a little more structure during this school year, I will be making a new chore chart, and doing my blitz momentarily, and then quite possibly having ten minutes to spare to sit back and enjoy the view…before they all come home again…

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Happy Thoughts!

 

 

Ahhh…the first day back to school! I am joyful!! I have two more kids to send back to school next week, and one still in diapers at home with me…I can do this!! I am slowly getting a creative vibe following in my veins again, and I am SO ready for it!

I adore all four of my amazing and beautiful children.  Even when they leave shoes in the middle of the floor or a crumb trail to the toy area and juice pouches stuck to any and every surface.  I love them when the giggle. Or when they are bickering for absolutely no real reason, or burping or farting.  It is unbelievable how they all seem to think this is still the funniest thing in the world!  I love them when they want to read bedtime stories and snuggle on school nights.

I love the structure of school.  Play, dinner, homework, baths, bed.  Collapse. Repeat. 180 times. Maybe squeeze in a date night or family gathering here and there. Collapse even harder. 

Maybe I am insane…school brings on a lot of additional stress to an already crazy day.  Parent meetings, sports, practice, clubs, dances, class trips…an endless list of FUN(insert sarcasm)!!!! I have been the only parent basking in the beautiful glow of school days! Possibly because my summer up to this point has entailed driving…and LOTS of it. I am officially a cabbie. Chauffeur. Driver. Personal assistant.

My family uses the revolving door that spins around me (and many days our two little ones)…constantly.  In and out. Dump and run.  And I stand here in an “on your mark” position with keys in hand and a pocketbook full of snacks, juice pouches and random small toys to entertain the little ones, as we depart yet again for another “joyous” day of carting teenagers to jobs, friends’ houses, sports, shopping…

My car looks like my “dump and run” house…books, crayons, goldfish strewn on the floor, seats and a random sticky substance usually on one of the cushions. The teens leaving remnants of a quick meal or snack and drinks and hairbrushes and makeup bags on the seats and floors…a constant cluttery mess.

But I love it.  I really do…I think.  I am told I will miss these days so badly it hurts. I will regret not stopping to enjoy all of the chaos. I will never get it back.

I am pretty certain we are all aware of this.  But am I inhuman to wish I could eat a meal from start to finish in a chair in my own home (date night is generally the time it is uninterrupted) or to want a half hour on the sofa watching some mindless show…or even to scan a magazine on my cute little wicker sofa on my cute front porch with a light ocean breeze, instead of a freezing doctor’s waiting room? I am not inhuman to feel this way.  I am human.  I think good things, and maybe a little much bad sometimes( that’s when I discovered blogging). And that’s ok. But the good stuff like first days of school, and movie night, and school dances or proms, and birthday parties or family gatherings, give me those moments to be able to appreciate all the hard work day in and out.

I am happy for another school year but will miss long summer nights and cookouts and beach days even though they were few and far between, but still they existed for me…I guess I am one lucky girl. I will make the most out of my car rides trying to talk to my quickly maturing teens and silliness with my little ones as they slip into boredom in the backseat.

I am in the middle of that revolving door.  I am that tetherball pole that stands firm to let the ball spin circles around me…but I am ok with that.  I am their rock and will remember this post as I get in the car again in ten minutes to pick up my daughter at work. I will smirk at the thought that she will be in school this time next week…they all will be…except for my little man.  It is his turn. He gets me all to himself to go to the playground or splash in his water table or cuddle and watch a movie…I am happy-so happy for this.  I was lucky enough to have this with all my babies…and I will enjoy every little moment I share with him.

 

 

Rain Rain Go Away…

Sheesh. It is raining…again.  I know my sister would be saying, “oh stop. It’s good for our veggie plants and grass”.. .that is until her ceiling starts gushing rain water later tonight.

I don’t mind rain at all. But it is sort of the salt on an open wound for me today.  I know I have whined about bad karma or bad days before, but this feels like a temper tantrum worthy sort of day.

None of of our alarms went off this morning. Most days, I could care less for missing an alarm,  but having to be up at the crack of dawn to pack up a family of six and close up the house for an overnight (to spend gobs of money at the mall for back-to-school clothes and supplies) at my in-laws was stressing me out already.

Not to mention a phone meeting at noon for my hubby and two back-to-back doctor appointments BEFORE shopping even commenced.

The car ride was an hour and change of pure torture. Not only did the a/c on my side of the car stop working, it decided to blast heat instead. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the typical bickering soon turned into verbal boxing ring between out three oldest. Such petty, mind-numbing topics to freak out about…yet the most important and current event for them to defend and fight for. Who took who’s earbuds or who farted or who forgot to charge what device…as my kids have taught me to text in a simple response….UGH.

So not a great karma kind  of day,  but managed to end it with some good wine and food and laughter. I guess that is all I can ask for♡