Tag Archives: feelings

Someday.

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Someday.

Someday it will be me.

It will be that moment no one likes to think about. Or even say out loud.

Saying goodbye…forever.

Today is day one of many goodbyes to our Grandmother.

It doesn’t come as a shocker. It was not sudden or painful.

It was just time.

Ninety-six years of time.

Blessed time.

But five years without her sweetheart.

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So yes…it was just time.

Time to say goodbye to all of us here, and hello to her sweetheart again.

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I am trying desperately to remember this…we were blessed. We had her for so long. And now it is time for her to be at peace.

I told her it was okay (we all did), I whispered it in her ear, told her I loved her, many times…we had several weeks with her to say goodbye, as she slowly declined into a peaceful eternal sleep.

But I am still so heartbroken…

I will miss her…my husband and children and sisters and Aunts and Uncles and cousins…we will all miss her.

She was amazing…stylish, classy, funny, devoted and fierce.

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She would be hard to forget.

So I will continue to tell stories about her to my children and remind myself of all the beautiful memories we had with her.

She was like a second mother to me and my sisters through some very tough years for our mother and her painful divorce from our father. Our grandmother stepped in and protected us and hugged us and made us smile, when our mother just couldn’t. I don’t hold this against our mother…it was actually a gift. We were able to create a special bond with our Grandmother.

We are forever grateful.

Tonight, is our first of many goodbyes and many tears…some sad but many happy.

We were all blessed to be loved and adored by our Grandmother, Mother, Aunt, Mother-in-law, friend, sister…

 

Thank you, Gram, for just being you…

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Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality. ~Emily Dickinson

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The La-La Vote.

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The La-La Vote.

I am as sick of talking politics as the rest of the world is…for sure.

But I struggled for two days to put into words, my perception of how things unfolded with our Presidential Election. It finally hit me, but there was no intelligent way for me to explain it, other than this…

The La-La Vote.

It happened.

Many people will deny it, but when you look at the numbers for the Electoral AND the Popular votes, there is no denying it.

You cannot tell me every vote was cast by a so-called deplorable –

Uneducated white racist/bigoted voter…

You cannot tell me every middle and low income family voted liberally for one of the most unfavorable candidates in history…

Or just because she was a woman…

These votes were cast by people of all races and ethnic backgrounds. By doctors and lawyers and teachers and firemen. People who were successful, and people who struggled to feed their families.

I cannot fathom the vast majority of my town where Trump signs decorated almost every single lawn, that these hard working,(some wealthy some not), folks have that much hate in them to have voted for a candidate whose ideals are based on hate. And all of them being okay with turning the clock back fifty years, especially in a small town where our schools are diverse and many families are in the low income bracket. Are my neighbors speaking to these black and Hispanic families directly? We don’t want your kind here…get out! Maybe a few think like that, but all I have seen is open arms and love and support for all ethnicities in my town…so what is it then?

I cannot fathom a very liberal environmentally-conscious family such as ours with lots of kids (some in college), voting for Clinton,(who changes her mind to suit the vote and the audience), and comes out more popular in the race with no firm stance on TPP or the pipeline, or money in politics…how could anyone vote for a person who was taking millions as she spoke about getting Wall Street out of politics?

I choose to see it like this-

There are a handful of true racist, backwards thinking bigots who came out of the woodwork when they heard there was a leader who spoke their language…maybe they cast a vote on Tuesday, or maybe they just screamed and yelled at rallies and at the t.v. for a year and will slither back to where they came from. Regardless, they made it known to the world, that they still exist…that the hate still exists.

It never went away.

Then there are those people who just vote to vote. They don’t watch the news or pay attention on social media. Born and raised a Democrat or Republican, they stay true to their party, no matter who the candidate. No fear or consequence in their minds by casting a vote if you are not aware of all the commotion its causing.

Which brings us back to the La-La Vote…

These folks are aware of what is going on…the corruption, the lies, the hate, the rage brewing. They don’t understand the idea of third party voting and they don’t want to not vote. They paint pretty little pretty pictures in their minds and on social media of their candidate and ideals to suit their needs and desires for their vision of America.

They just want their party to rule.

So they were backed up against a wall…

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You must choose between one of these two people…ignore the facts, ignore the scandals, ignore the proof that neither one should have been allowed to continue to run due to all the investigations and corruption. But we were forced into being left with this…

 

 

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See nothing. Hear nothing. Say nothing.

 

 

For the love of all things Holy, just let this nightmare be over…

Those doctors and lawyers and teachers didn’t want to hear about rape scandals and walls being built anymore than the doctors and lawyers and teachers on the other side of the aisle wanted to hear about smashed cell phones, and email scandals and dirty money.

It is over. Finally.

And now  half of the La-La Voters are very mad. The losing side, obviously.

Rightfully so…but maybe, just maybe if they had taken their fingers out of their ears or uncovered their eyes, something could have been about it much sooner. And for those who did cast a vote in his favor, if things wind up getting ugly or violent, you chose to look the other way as well.

Neither side can cast a stone.

The numbers and the knowledge were there all along. There were many other options for both sides…so it is what it is now.

We need to pick ourselves up and rise above it…

I grew up in a family of Republicans, and know that this is not how most Republicans think. His words were extreme to grab the attention of the world and get votes…and it worked.

My prediction,(as we have already started to see), is a lot of back-peddling on policies and ideas. And those who truly reveled in the hate speech will just have to go back to where they came from…

There is no room in this world for hate anymore.

It is not welcome.

We all need to take responsibility for how and why we got to this point. But some will continue on, fingers in their ears, blaming others.

Regardless of who is President, one thing is evident…hate does still exist. And there is still so much work to do to clean up Washington and the corruption in politics.

Let’s focus now on the path forward…eyes wide open.

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Lack Of Words.

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Lack Of Words.

Is it possible to be speechless or wordless?

Especially for someone who enjoys writing a blog?

It has been ages since I could even fathom writing anything.

Not due to lack of topics…as we all know, there are plenty of things to write about as of late. Dare to turn on the news, and you will be slapped in the face by the most depressing, twisted news stories. Whether it is from a global view, or local view…it is all heartbreaking.

Rarely breathtaking…like literally so amazing or wonderful that it takes your breath away…nope.  It would only take your breath away due to a long deep gasp you might succumb to when watching TV news drama unfold.

But it isn’t just the news. The shows on television are either phony reality shows that serve no purpose other than to make people envious of how much money we don’t have, (compared to those reality stars who claim to be oozing diamonds and dollars from their pores that are sparkling clean from daily facials), or the countless murder mysteries and just plain creepy clown shows  that alternate every night and every popular channel.

This must be the reason why, when given the chance to actually turn on a show I might like, I just walk away with Disney blaring mindless canned laughter or watch half hour cooking contest shows while I clean or zone out on the computer trying to think of something to write, but instead get sucked into social media and news stories that make my head and heart hurt…

So I am obviously proving I haven’t a lack of words. I ACTUALLY have a lot to say. I have been watching myself though because I have learned in REAL life or on social media, that many hot topics can destroy friendships or cause hard feelings.

So we are keeping hot topic discussions in the house from now on( as I vaguely hint at things here)…the good old fashioned way…at the dinner table. We get our news and facts together when we can stomach to watch or read it…and debate it all every so often.

There really are no lack of words in our house, but it has felt unsafe to write my thoughts down on here. I have hurt and offended some, not deliberately, but because I thought my blog was a creative outlet to vent my frustrations or feelings…my modern open diary on days when I needed to get it all out.

I am learning to think before I speak…or type. I am learning that there will never be a lack of words or feelings or topics to discuss or write about, but I must choose those words carefully. I am learning that there are two sides to every story. If CNN makes me question something, check with Fox News…then I can go back to CNN with renewed faith that their word is gospel…just kidding…maybe.

And if in need of some boob tube time, nothing is better than a DVR full of commercial free movies or shows of our liking…and no clowns.