Feeling pretty lazy right now. Still in pj’s. But thankfully I have accomplished a lot since 6:30am when my two year old started hitting me to wake up. Some days I wish I was getting up to go to work. I truly loved working. Not to say I don’t enjoy being a mother. I take that job very seriously…sometimes maybe a little too seriously. Ask my kids. But if I worked at a job, maybe they wouldn’t think I am too intense or in their face so much. But the messes and whining would still exist…so not sure if there is a happy medium in the stay-at-home/go-to-work category of life. I struggled to work for years around my husband’s insane and never the same travel schedule, but the stress was too overwhelming on all of us most of the time.
Not to overshare, but about once a month I start thinking…too much. Maybe that is where the idea of blogging came to fruition. We as a family have had a lot of up’s and down’s in the past few months. Mainly just emotional, but also life changing.
So when I am feeling EXTRA emotional, I guess that is what keeps me up at night thinking. My oldest is finally yet slowly figuring out that adulthood is just around the corner…more specifically in less than five months. And maturity and more decisions than she has ever had to make other than what to wear and whether to treat herself to sushi or pizza…we are talking BIG STUFF…work, college, driving, dating, friends…we have had a few meltdowns, breakups, and growing out of friends…
All part of life. She is absorbing this a little. She has definitely been attempting to get us to view her as a more mature young lady than just a kid. She takes her jobs very seriously this summer, and saving/spending all the money she has earned. She begged me the other night to start seeing her as more of an independent than as another child to cart around to outings or dinners. I begged her to understand that we get it, but need time to adjust. That we will give her a little more space and privacy, but that she will always be our firstborn. Our baby girl.
Not sure how I will handle this upcoming year (praying graduation doesn’t fall on one of my more “emotional weeks”…but we will survive. We have survived more heartbreaking days and will again.
So now that the sun has decided to return, I declare this as Monday Fun Day! I will not dwell on these long sleepless nights or emotional talks with my daughter and husband. I will get out of my pj’s and soak up the sun and hopefully create more happy memories with our firstborn and three other children…my karma meter will hopefully read “good” all day!